Tiwalola Ogunlesi is a life coach specialising in positive psychology and the founder of Confident and Killing It. Confident and Killing It is a purpose driven organisation and community that wakes women up to their worth so they can be confident, unstoppable and dare to live the life they truly desire. Through engaging talks, workshops and coaching sessions Tiwalola equips women with the tools they need to overcome fear and self-doubt, programme their minds for success and speak their truth. Since starting in 2018 she’s upskilled 1400 women in London, NYC, Lagos and delivered engaging experiences for brands/organisations such as BeautyStack, UN Women UK, The Wing, Makers Academy and The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy.
Can you tell us a bit more about yourself and your career journey?
I’m Tiwalola Ogunlesi, I’m a life coach specialising in positive psychology and the founder of Confident and Killing It. I graduated from university in 2015 and got a job in the marketing department of an engineering company.
Months into that first job I felt a bit lost. There was deep unfulfillment that came from being stuck in a job I hated. In the back of my mind, I knew there had to be more to my life than living on autopilot. In a search for a more fulfilling life, I began volunteering as a Youth Leader with a group of twenty 15 year old girls.
One day, I asked them to write down an area in their life they wanted to grow in. I got home, super excited to see what they had said until I opened the first piece of paper…
“ I want to be more confident”
“ I wish I loved myself more”
“I want to be more confident”
“I want to learnt to unleash my inner Beyoncé”
And so it went on and on and on. ALL TWENTY GIRLS in the group had written in one way or the other that they wanted to be more confident and love themselves. I burst into tears not only out of sadness for them but also sadness for myself, as I remembered being a teenager and – not loving myself. 10 years had past and It felt like the world hadn’t changed, another generation of young women growing up struggling to love themselves.
That evening broke my heart I could no longer be a bystander in life. It was time to start using my voice to stand up for women and girls. It was time to wake them up to their truth. Society has normalised self-hate in women and young girls and it is NOT ok! We all deserve to love and believe in ourselves but it’s like everything is conspiring against us to make sure we remain insecure *coughs capitalism*, *coughs the patriarchy*.
So with a fire burning in my heart and a deep sense of conviction, I decided to use social media in a more meaningful way by sharing positive content that inspired women and girls to wake up to their greatness. That’s how Confident and Killing It was born. It’s a self-love revolution that wakes women up to their worth, so they can be confident, unstoppable and dare to live the life they truly desire.
What do you like most about your job?
I love seeing women wake up to their worth. Nothing makes me happier than seeing women awake to their greatness and taking action in life. That’s what I love most about my job – seeing women win. I also love how alive I feel when I’m coaching another woman or giving a talk. My job is really aligned with my strengths and so everyday when I wake up I’m excited because I’m living from a place of strength.
What types of clients do you most like to work with?
I love working with women. I think society has set things up in a way that makes it harder for women to succeed and so I want to pour my energy into ensuring women believe in themselves and go after what they want.
What are your favorite three self-help books?
15 laws of growth by John Maxwell
The Woman code: 20 powerful keys to unlock your life by Sophia A. Nelson
Atomic habits by James Clear
To what do you attribute your success?
I come from a family of extraordinary women. My grandma, a Scottish woman, met my grandpa, a Nigerian man, in Oxford and moved to Nigeria with him in the 50’s by boat. It took her 2 weeks. She left her family and everything she knew for a life of adventure and uncertainty. She raised my mum with that same bravery, resilience and confidence, who then raised my sister and I in the same way. So everytime I get on stage to give a talk or run a workshop I don’t just come as myself, I come with the energy of all the amazing women who have inspired me and shaped me. I think that’s what really sets me apart. The self-help industry is mostly dominated by men and so when I come with my badass feminine energy and get everyone to dance to Bootylicious as a warm up, it’s a magical moment. No one really does it like me.
My talks and workshops have been described as relatable, transformational and inspiring and I believe it’s because I speak to issues women really care about and provide actionable tools that lead to real transformation. No fluffy stuff. I’m also not afraid to show up as my full authentic self. People have seen me laugh, cry, dance, act stupid, be afraid, be confident…I’ve shown it all and they are drawn to it.
What are you passionate about besides your work?
I love travelling. I’m such an explorer and I love getting lost in experiences. Learning about people from different cultures is something i’m also curious about. Oh and the food haha I love trying new food.
If you had one piece of advice to someone just starting out, what would it be?
Figure out who you are, what you’re good at, what you love doing and DO THOSE THINGS.
Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers, any advice?
Your mind is a battlefield of conflicting forces. It usually works against you but you can train it to work for you. One of my favourite quotes is “she knew the power of her mind so she programmed it for success”.
Don’t let negative thoughts of fear and self-doubt come into your mind and have a party. Challenge them! You need a positive comeback to help you change your perspective and remember the positive things about yourself when negative thoughts arise.
Confidence is a practice! You have to be intentional about investing in your personal growth and take baby steps towards your goals. Everyone can be confident but you have to put in the work.